I was thinking of Rollers of the Realm [Link]

I've actually never played a Tony Hawk game. Maybe because I never had a PS1 until 2013. My classmates in 5th and 6th grade were always pretty big on skateboarding stuff, and there was a place by the track we ran at (our middle school was in some larger community center thing, it had a huge field with a baseball diamond at the other side, a full large gym where we did dodgeball and basketball, a skate park behind it, and a football field with bleachers on the other side of the parking lot where we did field day stuff, flag football, and soccer), though I never actually saw any of them actually do any skateboarding. Then again, they talked a ton about Diablo II too, and only one of them ever played with me (and only once, I think, and that guy turned out to be a huge flake so I cut contact)

Is Rollerdrome that medievilish pinball adventure game RPG? That looked pretty alright.

That's a really good question. It's the sort of thing I guess most people don't think about, because they don't want to think about it. I've tried pushing an old woman in a wheelchair once; it's not as easy as it seems. Multiply that by an entire hospital; that's tough to work out.

You had to... what. I don't think I've ever heard of anything like that before. It'd be fine, though; since everything's done electronically now, you really only need to give them the numbers. I've been doing that shit over the phone for well over a decade now, and some of those numbers don't even mean anything. For pharmacy, you just need the ID and RXGRP, but BIN and PCN (if your plan even has the latter; some don't) are helpful for figuring out which insurance you have. I've never needed a single other thing from an insurance card, though I'm sure medical, dental, etc. are a little different. The trick is usually getting someone to get you the right card. That is exactly the problem! I've seen WAAAAAAY too much during my time in pharmacy, and there was even that time that my elbow ballooned up, and I went to a doctor to have it checked out. Told them everything; they gave me an antibiotic that's usually used for treating cellulitis, because it made the most sense that that's what it was. Come back in a week. Okay, it hasn't changed at all, so here's another antibiotic that's usually for a urinary tract infection. In my elbow. "Does that make sense to you?" Oh, see, I'm real sorry, because I kinda thought you were... you know... THE FUCKING DOCTOR!? Why are you asking me if that makes sense!? Whatever; take the damn pills; go for an x-ray. The results came back, and you know what they said? "We got your x-ray back, and... it looks like you've got a little inflammation in your elbow." I didn't even bother calling them back.

Really? Did I just watch all the wrong episodes? I think every single one I saw had Masahiko Kobe, and I saw Iron Chef Japanese exactly one time; only ever saw the other 2 in the opening.

But wasn't Cyborg the one that turned out to be the real Superman, after his "death" in the Death and Return of Superman story arc? Or did Blizzard lie? Again. Well, that's why you will never write a superhero movie: because you actually know your shit about comic books.

Oh, we don't pay attention to that; EVERYTHING MUST BE GRITTY AND GRIMDARK OR YOU ARE A CHILD. ARE YOU A CHILD, YOU COLOR-LIKING, SUBTLETY-APPRECIATING CHILD!? GRIMDARK AND GRITTY MEANS I AM AN ADULT.

Oh yes, that was the only decade in which something like Green Jelly could have existed. Not even the 2010s, because even though everyone did nothing but talk about the fucking '90s, they wouldn't have remembered something like Green Jelly. It sure seems like a thing; both movies, especially Carnage, played Eddie and Venom like an old gay couple, but less in an authentic way, and more in that, "I'm not funny at all, but I need to write in a cheap laugh somewhere" kind of way.

That does make a lot of sense; Superman is the face of the more idealistic DC Comics, whereas Batman seems like a Marvel character that took a wrong turn somewhere and wound up in the DC universe.

I've heard that, but the map says I'm in Comcast territory, and I have Verizon. We do have a local company that I could use, but they're fucking atrocious; they used to be really good, but they're now big enough to suck at service, but too small to have the resources to be really good. I mean, it makes sense; just about everyone uses Internet now, and wah wah taxes, but I wouldn't mind having them go toward something I'll actually use.

I suppose it is! Probably have to buy it on Steam, but I'll use Metal Wolf Chaos XD as a trial run and see how that goes. I think DLC should go fucking burn, but I won't lie: I'd be very likely to shell out $5-10, if it meant I could impale a giant mech with giant stiletto heels. Make it $30 for an extra mode that lets me put on an entire robot drag show.

Cyborg Justice is pretty cool, but definitely not a pick-up-and-play game; you have to spend time learning those fuckey controls. But you build a robot, choosing the legs, torso, and arm weapon; the legs are moderately useful, the weapons are essential, and the torsos are just to look cool. Pretty standard Brawler on the surface, but you can stun enemies, and RIP THEIR FUCKING ARM OFF, and then either throw it back at them or switch it with your own. Do it again after stealing their arm, and you can RIP THE TORSO OFF THE FUCKING LEGS, and either throw it or drain it for health; fill up your health, and it drains to zero, then keeps going, but gives you an extra life in the process. Very cool, but tricky to master; it's for the SEGA Genesis, if you're interested.

They did! The funny thing is that they said that these live services - you know: those supposed cash cows - were the reason that the company did not turn a profit. They lost 11 BILLION fucking yen on Marvel's Avengers. BILLION! They'd be the biggest failure in the modern business world, if not for Mark Zuckerberg.

That's because they've watched The Hunger Games; they know what's up. Pretty much the same thing, except nobody gets killed; just slapped that one time, and they're so goddamn sheltered that they all had internal meltdowns over it. I had to hear about how upset Jim Carrey was. Like, who the FUCK cares about the opinions of Jim Carrey, of all people? I'd be really surprised if the state of Colorado never erects a huge statue of the two of them, at this point. Well, if you do check it out, I'd be really interested in hearing what it's like.

It's great and terrifying all at the same time. On one hand, Disney has more money than fucking GOD, so why not let them foot the bill for things like firefighters and other... oh wait, we don't talk about that... S-word services. The government usually provides those, but they have more money than the government; let them fucking do it. On the other hand, an entire city is both owned by and indebted to a terrifying conglomerate that eats intellectual properties for breakfast and weaponizes nostalgia to REWRITE FUCKING LAWS, and that's how you build a cyberpunk dystopia, just with gift shop castles and mouse ears instead of neon and cybernetic augmentations.

Everyone. Now, get these corpo dipshits out of the captain's chair; you need to know video games to make video games succeed; not business. Make them work 78-hour weeks for 3 bucks an hour, and then stick your hand down their pants every other week or so, then act like you don't know anything about it, and don't help them improve their conditions.

That's probably best; for my money, the best way to play each is
1) GBA
2) Don't
3) NES maybe with the Maeson Mix hack
4) SNES
5) GBA with the classes hack
6) SNES
7) PS1
8) PS1
9) PS1
but I haven't played a ton of different versions of any of them, so I'm probably not the best to ask.

I just don't like the idea of interrupting my exciting dungeon crawls with boring real-life shit, even if high school was probably the best years of my life until pretty recently. I can't even remember the last time I talked to someone I went to high school with... the one cashier at the market kinda looks like she might be the daughter of someone I used to know; that's about it. The thing with Nocturne, as I understand it, is that what they took out was Dante from Devil May Cry 2, but they did replace him with Raidou Kuzunoha, who was his replacement in the Maniac's Edition of the game, but if you MUST have that character be Dante, you have to shell out another 5 bucks for ATLUS's legal fees with Capcom. I've only played the PS2 version, and... it's really not that hard anyway? There were 3 bosses that really kicked my teeth out the back of my head, but 2 of them were optional superbosses; they're supposed to do that. You bork the battle system, you get back in there, and you KICK THAT FISH'S ASS!

The now-dead composer was part of a group that wants to alter Japanese history to remove any mention of sex slaves they had during World War 2, because that was a thing, so more like a little bitch who wants to protect sex pests.

I played the demo roughly "it was packaged in with Parasite Eve, which a friend had lent me in exchange for Mega Man X4" years ago, and the fighting system seemed cool, but didn't remember that at all when I bought it via PSOne Classics for my PSP. One vertigo-related concussion later, I gave up, still in the first dungeon. Xenosaga is... I'm kicking around the idea of giving it a shot in 800 years when I finish this backlog, and my 2 backuplogs. I was getting pretty close on this one, but then my stupid ass bought my entire GOG wishlist on a whim, and here we are.

Completely with you on that; I thought Witcher 3 was fun. Then, I looked at the 91 hours I'd put into it without even finishing the first map. It wasn't that much fun. Here I sit, though, with 92 hours into Kingdoms of Amalur, and I'm still having fun; getting antsy about the rest of my backlog, like I always do, but still having fun. Why? The combat is basically Devil May Cry without the guns. Also, I don't hate every character I'm not completely indifferent to. Triss Merigold? Never heard of 'er; give me the ditzy, calamitous Captain Rast Brattigan any day, and that's even before she gave me a sword with tits on it as a symbol of our courtship. Same thing with Rogue Galaxy; I put 400 hours into that because I just didn't want to let go, because the combat was fun, and the tasks were engaging, but Level 5's more popular Dragon Quest 8 felt like it took a fucking eternity to finish. PACING, MOTHERFUCKER; DO YOU KNOW IT?

Absolutely! I just played Smoothie Galaxy this weekend, which took me 11 minutes and 42 seconds, including the 2 deaths I took, and I loved it. Clever visual design, good mechanics, does the Zelda thing better than most Zelda games, just like most games semi-derisively referred to as "Zelda Clones".

Fuck, I said couldn't managED; I feel really fucking stupid right now. But yeah, I couldn't really handle Guilty Gear. I played... oh I don't know what the fuck stupid-ass Kingdom Hearts bullshit title it had; the one on the PSP! The one that's mainly a Brawler, but has one of the mainline games as a bonus. I got through the Brawler with 2 or 3 characters, and just couldn't anymore; couldn't do much of anything with the Fighter that came with it. It just sucks, because I do like the genre on paper; I just can't play most of the games it has, because I missed a Street Fighter 2 update. One. That was it; I'm fucked forever now. The Marvel vs. Capcom games are okay, because they also made it for Marvel fans, and they're a bunch of casual noobs say git gud without realizing it was a fucking joke because I'm incapable of reading subtext, so those aren't so super hardcore that I need to know what a Roman Cancel is. Guilty Gear does not give that particular fuck; it wants to shove a long stick up my ass and use my battered body to mop up my own blood. SaGa Frontier is like that, too, but I'm into it.

"Cyborg is...a cyborg!"

Not a robot, a cyborg. [Link]

But how do you know that one of the nurses isn't just a minotaur in a trenchcoat? Asking the real questions. Oh yeah, we had those as teachers; I remember an old co-op of mine walking over and closing the door, and whispering to me, "They paged Maria White... Code White means a medical emergency." It turned out that there really was someone named Maria White that they were just calling to the office, but it was still something I hadn't really thought about before. I... [Link] Why would you need to ask yourself if you'd planted the bomb, AND THEN, why you did it? IS THERE A LEGITIMATE REASON TO PLANT A BOMB IN A FUCKING HOSPITAL!?!?!?

Yeah, man; KEEP ON THAT SHIT! Insurance is good enough at screwing people without even withholding cards from people.

I mean, they compete in an arena called fucking KITCHEN STADIUM! You can't just whitewash something like that and expect it to be half as good. What would the storylines even be? "Karen Johnson is the manager of a Payless in a dying shopping mall, and all her life, she's only wanted one thing: to get rich and famous from her grandmother's macaroon recipe. Today, she'll be competing with Iron Chef America for whogivesafuck." I very specifically remember an episode of the original of this cool old guy who lived out in the woods and practiced calligraphy and shit; my sister and I were both rooting for him, though unfortunately, I think Masahiko Kobe stomped his ass. YES THAT FUCKING DUB! There was this old lady fortuneteller that they dubbed to sound like a cheerleader with really awkward pauses in almost every sentence!

She said the Snyder cut of Justice League was a much better movie, and actually made narrative sense. Still don't know why Cyborg would've been a separate character from Superman, but whatever. Oh, so they made an actual superhero movie? I'd almost consider watching it in that case, but I've never really cared about Wonder Woman as a character. Yeah, GRIMDARK and DC don't really have anything to do with each other, except maybe Batman; I think I heard the original comics from the '40s were on the darker side, even if I do still think of Batman as Adam West and Burt Ward in tights.

I'll vouch for them; I was actually a pretty decent Green Jelly fan even before they did the soundtrack to the game. They mostly put out ridiculous power punk tunes, like Cereal Killer (TOU-CAAAAN SON-OF-SAAAAM!), but you'd occasionally get something like Slave Boy, which was a B-52s... you know, I'm not sure I can tell whether it's a parody, a tribute, or both. Their cassettes came with trading cards of the ridiculous characters they created (at least half of which weren't even in any of their songs), and their CDs came with comic books. Carnage and Venom were both just... filled with subtext about how Venom and his host were gay lovers that fight all the time? I mostly watched Carnage to see how he'd look, and that might be the one thing they did fairly well, but they didn't have Cloak and Dagger, Firestar, Spider-Man; fucking NOBODY. Just Venom versus Carnage and Shriek. I learned my lesson; if they make a Separation Anxiety movie, I'm sitting it out.

It would be like that Superman vs. Batman movie, which I made the mistake of saying was the most pointless fucking thing ever in front of my sister's then-husband, who is more obsessed with Zelda and Batman than anyone else I've ever met in person or online. I got an hour-long diatribe about Kryptonite bombs or some shit, and just... whatever; don't care, dude. In any case, it does seem like the attitude the director had after they told him he had to make a sequel; I would've believed it.

That's because it was balls-hard, and nobody could fucking GET any further! I guess I did fight IG-88 in the junkyard, but his LEGO iteration is much better anyway, since he RIPS HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF AND BEATS PEOPLE WITH IT. But that was one of my first exposures to Star Wars, period; I MAY have rented and played a little of Super Return of the Jedi before that, but aside from knowing what a lightsabre (and not even a Jedi or The Force) is, that was about it.

I suppose that makes sense, but does Internet get that much worse than what we have out here in this rural community? We stream just fine, most of the time, and can usually watch different shit at the same time. We have physical disc Netflix, too, and that's a great thing to have, because no other service for that exists, so you can get almost anything through that; no "Disney bought this, so even though Netflix made the series, it's only on Disney+ now" horseshit.

If they have tongue vibrators, I don't think tampons are that much of a stretch; I wouldn't be surprised at all to see them. That said, the fanbase is getting on in years, and I long for the day when they start putting all 4 of their faces on adult diapers; that would be fucking hilarious.

At its armored core, it is a very cool game, but the controls are just... I can't play it anymore. I really did try recently, because the ideal of playing dress-up with a giant robot that has gatling guns with concealed legally distinct lightsabres still appeals to me. Just have to change a few things from the norm, you know? Oh, Giiiiiiirl Mecha, we need to talk about that dress exoskeleton clashing with those heels tank treads. And those nails shoulder-mounted railguns... OOOOOO SCANDAL! Add to the fact that the default head has a pretty decent bob cut, the color of which can be changed, and you're good. Wait, did Armored Core have tank treads, or am I thinking about Cyborg Justice? Been a minute. Car combat is even more frustrating to me than racing; trying to line everything up makes my lizard brain short circuit. As for Punch-Out, I know exactly what to do; I just can't get my brain to make my hands do it.

I'm not that big on warps, either, but watching him walk through Glitch Hell for almost 5 solid minutes was an experience in and of itself. Not as crazy as BEING ABLE TO ACTUALLY SEE THE PHYSICAL MEMORY in Super Mario Land 2, but still pretty wild. Oh, that's right... *pulls up mask* ULTRA GAMES IS A VERY REAL COMPANY, I PROMISE, MR NINTENDO.

Could be, and really, if that were made in this day and age, it'd be pretty true to life.

Ohhhhh... no, you don't wanna do that...

I wouldn't recommend it; by all counts, it's just DC's version of Marvel's Avengers, although the playable characters don't quite look like the bootleg versions of themselves. Still just another endless grind, because video game companies don't understand what the word, engagement, means. I didn't even look at the awards, other than that kid who nominated his... what was it... "Converted Orthodox Rabbi, Bill Clinton"? Something like that. Kid just walked up on stage, and nobody questioned him, because he acted like he belonged there. I'm with Matt Stone and Trey Parker: awards shows are just meaningless pageantry, and you already know who's going to win them. I'm not opposed to playing major releases (I won't call them AAA), but so many of them have very limited (if any) appeal to me anymore, and I'm going to wait a few years for when they're cheap, and all the DLC is already out, so I can just sit down and actually play the whole thing, instead of being tediously drip-fed content for who knows how long.

Could be; Raymond the Amish Comic (yes, that is a real thing) teaches us that the only visible difference between an Amish man and a biker dude is a leather jacket. But no, I learned self-loathing all on my own. Right? I remember a time when it was just that really sunny place where Disney OWNED AN ENTIRE FUCKING CITY, even though we didn't know that at the time. That's really fucked up that they were able to do that, and kinda scary; that was legally sound, and also a deal with The Mouse. How the FUCK did they beat The Mouse!? ARE THEY CHINA!? Nobody else has been able to do that!

This is why people always tell me I'm wrong about shit: my favorite Konami titles aren't the ones everyone knows and loves; they're off-beat shit like Esper Dream and Goemon. I was just talking PC; Costume Quest 2 is probably on a ton of consoles, but for whatever reason, GOG and itch don't have that, even though everyone and their dog is selling the original DRM-free, even Humble.

It's been a while, but I believe he does find Base X. Not the one in Red's scenario in SaGa Frontier, either; it's a legally distinct Base X that isn't swarming with red Power Ranger analogs. The real question is which is the real Action Man in the GBA game, Action Man: Robot Atak, since there are 3 playable characters? I honestly don't even remember that one, but that's probably because the Game Boy's library gets so deep and weird when you dig in enough; a nondescript James Bond game wouldn't even register by the time I got to it. Are you going to tell me that the title actually starts with 007 and make me feel like an ass now?

Ah, yes: a thing is done successfully, and the industry learns all the wrong lessons from it. And then so do enough fans that their cannon-launched wallets vindicate those wrong lessons. I saw a clickbait article talking about key changes in pop music, and how they're all gone now, because they used to be considered musical sophistication, but are now seen as a crutch. Didn't bother to click and read it, but it's not super hard to figure out that that's kinda the same idea: if a good idea becomes the standard, that's not so bad, but when it's so standard that nobody knows why they're even doing it, then that defeats the purpose; it's just blind ritual at that point. Ah, like Bayonetta did when the first game came out, and upset a lot of the people that somehow didn't get the joke; I can respect that. Oh, uh... I mean... BAYONETTA SEXIST! COLOR CHILDISH!! COVER ALL PROTAGONIST IN MUD AND SHIT!!! RAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

It depends how you look at it; we didn't technically get the original Final Fantasy 2, either; just the PlayStation remake (which might've also been the Wonderswan remake?) onward, but not the original original. That's also how we got 5, but that was left more-or-less intact. It also depends whether or not you count the Pixel Remaster as getting the original 3, but from what I understand, they REALLY changed up the class system in that, so that might even still be an exception if you do count those. At least, that's what I've heard; I don't need to buy any of those, so unless I can pick them up free somewhere, it's doubtful I'll ever play them. It was really strangely absent, though; we got 5 and 6 in Anthology, then Origins had 1 and 2, and finally Chronicles had 4 and... fucking Chrono Trigger. No 3 on PlayStation; no 3 on GBA; just that miserable DS remake and the Pixel Remaster.

The first 2 Persona games are ones I really was considering playing, but this old bat has just absolutely run out of patience for demon conversation. Unless it's going to be like Last Bible for Game Gear, where the same answers get the same results, I'm completely over its shit; the Megaten games are not that good that I'm dragging myself through the likes of that again. As for Dragon Quest... just no thanks; the series I used to know is dead, buried, dug up, pissed on, and scattered with Koichi Sugiyama's sex-crime-loving, queer-hating ashes.

The entire Xeno franchise is something I've blown off for quite some time now. I wanted to get into Xenogears, but I CANNOT fucking navigate those areas; that camera gets me almost as dizzy and disoriented as that Slave of God game, which is NOT a game for people with synaesthesia. Xenosaga seemed like it had a really stupid premise and was padded like a menstruating firehose, and Xenoblade, I just HATED what I saw of the battle system, and THEN I found out it's something like 70 hours. Nope; hard pass. We all have backlogs; make shit that respects our time, instead of just catering to the crowd that beats off every time they hear a game has over 200 hours of content, because they're still going to buy your game anyway. A friend of mine, who I met here put together a list of her top 100 favorite games of all time, and Contra was on there. Personally, I think Contra is super overrated, BUT I totally agree with what she said about it: if you know what you're doing, you can beat the whole thing in 15 minutes, but a game you can beat in 15 minutes knows exactly what it wants to be. And as I always say, less isn't more, but more isn't always better.

I've heard that he's not easy to play, but he just clicked with me. I'd figured I wouldn't even have a chance with him, so I'd been maining Felicia before that. Really, though, the only character I couldn't managed to 1CC the game with was Huitzil; even Anakaris was easier than I'd thought it would be. Yeah, Darkstalkers was really something; it's easily my favorite game in the genre. It has just enough complexity and speed to be REALLY satisfying, but it's not overly complex like Guilty Gear/Blazblue or the newer Street Fighter games. Maybe Alpha/Zero isn't like that? Iunno; I tried Street Fighter 3, and it was a bit too much for me.

Wait, north to east!? You ever see a strange guy in there? Head of a bull? Carrying a big axe? Sounds like the kind of place they'd build to keep him from getting out. Sounds like a pretty wild place; I almost want to fly out to Colorado just to see it.

Oooo, yeah the network thing is a pain in the ass; the eye doctor I saw on Saturday wasn't in network, and I don't even want to say what I spent on lenses and frames for the 2 of us... Hard to find doctors that are trustworthy, too; I've seen WAY too much in my time in the medical industry.